Friday, October 1, 2010

various and sundries

I was going to write about a difficult extrication that we did the other day, but decided it would be too much like writing a report. Besides, I like to make fun of stuff, and there is no humour in a vehicle crash, even when both occupants live to tell about it.

As a sort of consolation prize, I tried to find a driver safety site that at least made me smile, but no luck. I had to settle for the good, solid, information site at Transport Canada written in true non-humorous bureaucratic style. Check it out and drive safe.

Then I thought I'd write about irate bureaucrats that shoot nasty shotgun letters at delinquent fire chiefs. Unlike vehicle crashes, bureaucrats are easy to make fun of, but since I was marginally delinquent myself, I decided to refrain . . . for once.

[side note: a shotgun letter is what you write when you are mad at so many delinquent chiefs that you could never possibly write them all individually, so you send one, big, ambiguous shotgun letter, and hope to put at least a few pellets in each target].

I was going to insert a pirated clipart image of an irate bureaucrat here, but decided that I had already pushed the limit of honest society with my chiefly delinquency, which was enough reprobate behaviour for one week. You can see some of my very own, non-pirated cartoons of irate firefighters here and here. If you haven't seen my collection of pretend cartoons, click here.

Seeing that I can't write about vehicle crashes or bureaucrats, I'll write about the weather. It's always safe to poke fun at the weather gremlins, because they don't really exist. And it's safe to poke fun at the Farmers Almanac, because they never read my blog.

Last fall I challenged the venerable Almanackers with a counter-prediction. If you want to read about the one time I accurately predicted a whole winter's worth of weather, click here (and if you're really interested in reading last year's Beebewitz Weather commentary, click here and here and here). In fairness, the Almanac was uncannily accurate in predicting heavy snow for the eastern states. But their call for "bitterly cold and dry" weather for Ontario was about as accurate as my golf shot, which by the way, is duck-if-you-value-your-head innacurate.

This fall, I'm not feeling so bold, especially since I have a gut feeling that we can't possibly get two mild winters in a row. The Almanac seems to agree that this winter will be "normal," which is a nebulously safe prediction.

Now it's time to make fun of the weather gremlins, but I'm still not entirely sure they aren't watching over my shoulder, poised to snatch away this beautiful Indian Summer weather we're having, so I will desist and offer you a quaint, sappy fall photo taken behind my house a week or so ago.
Enjoy the weather, watch out for bureaucrats, and drive safe!


  1. I didn't think the photograph was sappy, but never mind me; I'm not up on the latest fads in picture-taking.

    Hey, you up for National Novel Writing Month in November? Visit and see if it's something you might enjoy. (Note: 50,000 words is not all that much when you break it down to 30 units of 1,667 words--about one to one-and-a-half hours per day for the average typist. And you don't have to crank it all out at the same time. You can type in bits and pieces around the edges of an already busy life. This is what most of us do.)

  2. I have considered it, but it's tough to get time to just scribble a few blog words here and there. I do keep telling myself (like the other hordes of wannabe authors) that I must certainly write a book "someday" . . .


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