Beebewitz Glossary

Everyone has their own blog vocabulary. Here is some of mine.

Anti volunteer syndicates (AVS's): Nameless, faceless organizations that band together against volunteer fire departments. The term is usually (but not always) preceded by the adjective "Evil." I can't prove that they actually exist, by the way, but every crusader must have an arch enemy, whether real or imagined.

Cyber Gremlins: Digital phantoms created by evil computer barons, and released into cyberspace to create small scale havoc. The digital equivalent of a robotic mosquito. Early research indicates that they may contribute to the spread of DDDD.

DDDD: Deadly Digital Doldrums Disease (thanks to Brian from Switch2planB for bringing this to my attention). A digital disease that is transmitted through cyberspace. Symptoms include writer's block, apathy, sleepiness, and a general lack of creativity. Prevention includes avoiding infected sites (if it doesn't make you laugh, or at least smile, it's suspect), and frequently disinfecting your keyboard. Cybretically related to Digital Swine Flu.

Digital Swine Flu: The virtual equivalent of H1N1. Like DDDD, it is transmitted through cyberspace. Prevention includes avoiding sites hosted by pigs. I recommend denying pigs access to your keyboard as well, although infection through direct contact has not been proven. Symptoms include glitchy programs, complicated processes, and medium scale systemic failures. Current research indicates that DSF is periodically injected into the World Wide Web by evil computer barons suffering from DDDD. Links that promise results with "a few easy clicks" often lead to infected sites.

Evil computer barons (ECB's): Geeky geniuses that wear large glasses and flood pants, and live off of Cheezies and Pepsi. They were originally named "sadistically demented evil barons." Their sole purpose in life is to foment chaos in the digital world. They do this by inventing benign looking computer programs that promise to make life easier, but in reality tie people into virtual knots.

Far-flung peripheral edge of the universe: Originally a figurative and poetic name for Upsala. The meaning has since broadened to include other out-of-the-way places. Often shortened to simply, "peripheral edge of the universe."

Fire Gremlins: Non-digital dervishes that control the unpredictable world of emergency response. Fire gremlins may be the source of the quirky, unexplained things that sometimes occur in the fire service . . . like consistent call outs on days that firefighters eat spaghetti and chocolate cake in the same meal.

King of the World: A fictitious political position, in which I imagine that I could actually fix this crazy world we live in. Synonymous with "Wishful Thinking."

Weather Gremlins: Non-digital imps that control the weather. They are temperamental and easily annoyed into generating unfavourable weather conditions. Once again, there is little scientific research to prove their existence. It is, however, universally accepted fact that weather forecasters are frequently wrong, which seems to indicate that non-scientific forces are at work behind the scenes.

Search This Blog