Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Far-Flung Peripheral Edge

Upsala is not the centre of the universe.

You know that already, but (believe it or not) very few of the other six billion people in the world know it. That's because few people know that Upsala exists. A lot of people know that New York and Tokyo and Paris are not the centre of the universe. In fact, most people know that (except the New Yorkers, Tokyoans and Parisians, who are understandably deluded). But very few know that Upsala isn't. Very few indeed.

If you Google Upsala, you'll get a couple million hits, most of them about Uppsala, Sweden, or Upsala, Minnesota (whoever heard of Upsala, Minnesota?). There are a few entries on Upsala, Ontario too, but that doesn't help our not being the centre of the universe. After all, who Googles Upsala?

Being the action oriented, get 'er done fire chief that I am, I decided that firm action was needed to bring Upsala a tiny smidgen closer to the centre, and farther from its current location at the far-flung outer peripheral edge of the universe. I made a Facebook group for Upsala Fire Department. You can view it here. You can even join if you want. People living at the far-flung outer peripheral edge of the universe can't afford to be exclusive.

Surprisingly enough, there are a few folks out there that do know something about Upsala. Take this web site. I don't recall advertising that we have a 900 gallon pumper, a converted Crane Carrier street washer for a tanker, and a Grumman stepvan retrofitted by Holland Enterprises. Somehow these trivial details fell into the hands of someone that cared enough to post them on a website. Maybe we aren't as close to the edge as I thought.

Firefighting in Canada knows about Upsala, and I can forgive them if they don't think Upsala is the centre of the universe. Their editor, Laura King, said some very nice things about my blog (she also publishes my universally far-flung and peripheral views four times a year).

According to the Cosmological Principle (which you don't want to read), there is no centre of the universe. Wikipededia lists a number of places that consider themselves to be the very centre, but those are only idle claims. If Upsala can't be right in the very bull's eye middle, then I'll go with the Cosmological Principle (even though I didn't read it).

Incidentally, my friend Graham from Atikokan might be better qualified to discuss this stuff than me. He might even understand the Cosmological Principle. Anyone that can shoot flies off the ceiling with rubber bands, and make laser guns out of old CD players ought to know something about the universe.

Politicians think that they are the centre of the universe, as depicted in this cartoon. They're even more deluded than the New Yorkers. You can read my peripheral views on politicians here.

So there you have it. That was my rambling way to say, it's time the world knew more about Upsala. Stayed tuned, there's more.

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