Wednesday, October 21, 2009

If I were King

I'm still not sure if this email widget thing-a-majigy is working. I see I have some subscribers now, but I'm not sure if anyone is actually getting the updates emailed to their inbox. If you subscribed, and if you are getting the updates (or even if you aren't), and if you are willing to enlighten a poor html challenged, semi-Internet illiterate blogger, please drop me an email or leave a comment. I really want to be able to brag about successfully installing the feature.

In my October 15 posting, I bemoaned the fact that I can't fix all the world's problems (go ahead . . . you can say "Duh!" again). That got me thinking about the things I would fix if I was ever elected King of the World.

The first thing I would do (after ridding the world of hunger and disease, and vaporizing all ideologies that incite people to hurt, maim, kill, and otherwise harm each other) would be to invent a simple, user-friendly, glitch-free, inexpensive, dummy-proof, universally compatible computer software system. Then I would use my totalitarian, king-of-the-world powers to force all those sadistically demented evil barons that have a monopoly on the digital world to adopt it. That would fix the email widget problem.

Then I would get to the really important stuff. I would use my ultra-powerful despotic influence to brainwash people into wanting to support their local volunteer firefighters. For microscopic villages like Upsala, it would take the form of people waiting in line to volunteer. For elected officials and bureaucrats, it would mean turning useless rhetoric (like "we really appreciate our volunteers") into something usable (like dollars and cents). For communally deprived urban dwellers that don't have volunteer fire departments, it would take the form of an irresistible urge to send donations.

I probably wouldn't be able to eliminate fires and other emergencies. Even the King of the World has limitations.

If you think my world view is pie-in-the-sky, check out this one. It has been attributed to Robin Williams, but apparently that is untrue.

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