Friday, October 23, 2009

Complaints, alcohol, ideologies, and other related stuff

I was going to complain about feedburner not working again, but decided that you have been patient with my grumblings long enough. However, I do need to tell you that it appears the sadistically evil computer barons might be at work again . . . or maybe they're all on holidays in the Bahamas . . . which might be a better explanation of why they aren't fixing their discombobulated program. Either way, I'm again unsure that the email widget is working. If you are getting your updates, that's wonderful. If you aren't, then you'll be blissfully unaware that I'm writing this until next month when you think, "I wonder why that lazy Beebewitz isn't posting any of his incredibly witty, highly entertaining, and astoundingly useful stuff . . ."

Andrew, if you are reading this from your inbox, stop laughing at me for a minute and send an email to let me know that at least someone is getting the updates.

The weather around here has been normal for October (more rain and snow) which makes a boring topic to discuss on a blog. If you are a weather geek, or if you are a sadistically evil computer baron checking my blog on your Blackberry from a Bahama beach, and thinking, "Gee, I wonder what the weather is like in Northwestern Ontario," click here.

Since the invention of alcohol, people have studiously endeavoured to find myriads of ways to abuse the stuff. They drink and drive, drink and fly, drink and hunt, drink and cook . . . the list ways to kill yourself and others goes on. These are the people that keep firefighters in business. Today I read about someone that found a new way to get into trouble with alcohol. Drink and Lazy-boy.

As bad as it is to drink and drive your armchair, driving under the influence of an ideology is worse. North America is a haven for people escaping slavery of various types. People come here for a better life, a freer life. I don't understand why they can't leave their ideological slavery on the other side of the ocean. Someday, when I'm King of the World . . .

While we're on the topic of ethical things, I should tell you that I'm a firm believer in bribery, especially when it's used to advance fire safety. I went to the school today to pass out Fire Prevention Week Contest prizes. The kids were supposed to check their smoke alarms, practice their escape plans, get their parents to sign a form, and bring it back to enter the contest. Today was supposed to be the absolutely final deadline to get the forms in. Every kid was guaranteed a bribe - I mean prize - of some sort . . . a T-shirt, a backpack, a Sparky doll, an Energizer Bunny, a ball cap . . . lots of stuff to pick from. It's pretty straight forward bribery . . . they do the fire safety stuff for me and I give them something cool in return.

The difficulty with all this is that I'm a wimp. I look into the sad eyes of the kids that didn't hand in the form for whatever reason (the dog ate it, mom used it for a diaper liner, aliens vapourized it . . . the usual excuses) and I crumble. Then, under the disapproving glare of the principal (who, because of her position has to believe in sticking to her guns), I give them another chance. Get it to me by next Friday and I'll use my chiefly influence to make sure you get a prize. I guess the cynics are right . . . a fire chief does have to be a politician.

By the way, if you didn't check your smoke alarms during Fire Prevention Week, do it now. For once I'm not kidding.

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