the epic struggle

The other day I looked at my desk and decided it was time for decisive action. Actually, I tried to look at my desk. It was buried under heaps of paper. Reports, training records, applications for funding, firefighter precourse material. All of it important stuff. My philosophy has always been "keep it out where you can see it so you don't forget to do it."

I come by my disorganized clerical style honestly. My dad worked from a home office and carefully guarded his desk from attempts by my mom to straighten it out. He called it a "nice, orderly mess." I can forgive you for thinking that we're slobs because you've probably never read this scientifically researched study that proves that us disorganized folks are actually more efficient than you obsessive-compulsive neat freaks. You don't believe me. Okay, click here. Now do you believe me? I didn't think so.

On this particular day, I didn't believe me either. Enough was enough. Time to attack the desk. This sudden change of heart wasn't because of my deep inner tidiness bursting out. Rather, I suddenly saw all of that paper as the symbol of bureaucratic, red-tape evil that fire chief's face on a daily basis. Never mind the dragons of disaster that we're supposed to be slaying. The beast was right here in my office, staring me in the face, and the day of reckoning had come. It would be an epic struggle. Human against Big Brother. Superman against Lex Luther. His evil Krytonite was sitting on my desk. Armed with new resolve, I would be paralyzed no more.

Paper flew everywhere. I signed and read and stapled and organized (shudder) and chucked (hooray!). The trash can was full. The shredder overflowed. The file cabinet was stuffed with useless documents. Old Lex was shaking in his boots. My desk was at last free from the scourge of bureaucratic domination.

When it was over I sat down in my squeaky office chair and looked at my immaculate desk with a sigh. I was surprised. It felt good to be organized. Wow, I could actually say the word without choking. O r g a n i z e d. Now I can really get some work done around here. Let's see, where's that half finished report that was due yesterday on pain of cruel and unusual punishment. It used to be right here on the side next to the shredder. The shredder. Uh-oh.